Hey!! What's the story?

I recently received an annual New Year's letter from a good friend, and it got me thinking about what people would write if they didn't have such a good year, especially since our friends seem so positive about everything. Perhaps it would go something like this:

Dear Family & Friends:

Well, we can hardly believe 2014 is behind us - what a fabulous, busy year. First, you should know that Cindy got out of the hospital much earlier than anticipated. The doctor said he'd never seen such a bad case of tetanus and wasn't it lucky she was trying to lose a few pounds before our son's wedding in Cozumel. After all, there's only so many calories you can stuff in through a straw, what with the "lockjaw" and everything. But it just gets better. After extracting that 3" old rusty nail from Cindy's foot (I warned her about gardening barefoot, but you know Cindy!), the doctor said we could keep the nail as a reminder. So straight away we tacked it up on our "Wish Board" in the kitchen.

Our cruise to the Caribbean in February was a hoot. Did you know they've never had a tropical storm in Cozumel later than January, up until now? The cruise staff were absolutely terrific, though - at least those who made it out of sick bay. And our son Randy and new daughter-in-law Tracie were real troopers at their beach wedding. Before the ceremony, Tracie just tied some rope around the bottom of her dress as it kept blowing up over head. Talk about a "Youtube Moment!" I'm not kidding - someone posted the whole thing on Youtube.

When we came back from vacation Cindy right away noticed the house seemed a bit chilly. Sure enough, someone had smashed a window in the basement and climbed in. Then they filled one of my old gym bags with our laptops, backup hard drives, and pretty much anything else we kept in our home office. C'est la Vie!

On April 1st the bill from the hospital came, and at first we thought $250,000 was a bit steep. Doug gave them a call right away, saying: "Nice try, guys. April Fool's - good one!" But they explained that our insurance was declined because of the vaccines we refused for the past ten years (thanks a lot, Dr. Oz!) so fair is fair. Anyways, as our cash flow's a bit tight what with nothing to run our home business, we used a plastic tarp to cover up the window, and wouldn't you know it, we still had that rusty old nail handy to help tack it on tight. Now wasn't that lucky!

Nothing much happened after that until September except for a lot of silly lawyer stuff. Let's just say we've "downsized." Randy and Tracie have a beautiful basement which we've decorated with our favourite remaining possessions. I still don't understand why some people call the basement a crawl space. I mean, maybe you have to duck your head a bit to get under the beams, but nobody's crawling, for Pete's sake!

We also decided to splurge and take a two-month StayCation for all of November and December. And maybe all of 2015. Things just keep getting better!

All the best from all of us,

The Wilsons - Doug, Marnie, Randy, Tracie & Piggie (our hamster)

Views: 64

Comment by CAKeane on February 6, 2015 at 12:15

This is terrific! I laughed from beginning to end but then, I do have a pretty twisted sense of humor.

Comment by Preston Randall on February 6, 2015 at 15:43

Thanks CAKeane. Nice to know someone else shares my twisted view of things!

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