Hey!! What's the story?

02.45a.m Twenty four year old single Sarah Freeling was woken by a noise from somewhere within her apartment.  She sat up and looked into the darkness of her bedroom. Her eyes fixed on a line of light illuminating from under her door. It was the light from the hallway. A light she would have switched off before going to bed. Adrenalized by fear, she became fully awake.  

Sarah left her bed and crossed the bedroom. Staying in darkness she slowly opened the door and quietly closed it behind her. She stood in her hallway. White walls and oak flooring gleamed under its light. The hallway was still. Sarah breathed out her relief. Doors lead off into the darkness of the other rooms. She decided she needed to check all of them.

Entering the bathroom first she pulled on the switch cord. White tiles jumped out from empty darkness. Sarah saw her reflection in the cabinet mirror. An unmade face with tired, frightened pale blue eyes, high cheek bones and short cropped blonde hair stared back at her confirming her beauty. Sarah pulled the switch cord again. The bathroom returned to darkness.

She crossed the hallway and entered into the smaller bedroom which she had converted into an office. From its far window shadows were cast from the towering sycamore outside which filled the wall with finger thin branches and huge leaves.  She switched the light on. Her computer monitor stared blankly at her. She switched the light off. The shadows returned and danced with the night breeze.

Sarah stepped back into the hallway and entered her living room. She switched the light on and stepped towards the leather couch in the centre of the room. Her stomach fluttered as she leaned forward to see what lay behind it.

A small clown wearing a red and white striped bobble hat grinned up at her. She picked it up. Her niece’s toy, left from her last visit. She sat it on top of her dining table.

An archway led her into the kitchen. In the opaque blackness of the window above the sink the moon was visible like a shiny white penny stamped in its top right pane. Silvery moonlight flooded in.  Her shoulder tops suddenly jumped from an unexpected noise behind her. The loud whirr of the fridge had kicked in.

Sarah had checked through her whole apartment and felt reassured. She went back to the hallway and finally switched out its light. The darkness immediately summoned a new horror.

A light now shone from under her bedroom door. The door which just minutes ago she had opened in darkness and had quietly closed behind her. Sarah watched the line of light shift and then break as ominous shadows suddenly appeared.

For the first time she felt the grip of panic. In the darkness of the hallway her eyes flicked across ten feet of creaky oak flooring to the dark grey outline of her front door.  Her mind screamed for escape.


TWITTER:  @From_Rons_Desk

Hope you enjoyed. Any comments / feedback would be very much appreciated.

Thank you for reading.

Views: 169

Comment by Steph Ellis on November 1, 2014 at 23:44

Creepy ... but what was it?  I want to know. Love stories which leave your imagination to fill in the gaps.

Comment by Ronnie Capaldi on November 2, 2014 at 12:53

Thanks Steph.

I wanted to keep the antagonist minimal in this story to add to the effect. In the very initial story idea before even putting pen to paper I was going to go  for the supernatural/poltergeist route - you can still go for that if you wish!. But the story geared to the antagonist being an intruder who has hid in her apt and sneaked in her bedroom whilst she was looking in one of the other rooms. Or maybe was hiding in the darkness of her bedroom all the while (for whatever reason!).  Will leave it up to to you!

Im going to be adding comments / likes to the other stories sometime today/tomorrow. soon as I get some time :)


Comment by Shakes on November 2, 2014 at 16:27
Some of the same influences at play in your work as in mine I'm guessing. The false starts leading to the real horror of the last paragraph were well handled devices. More soon?
Comment by Ronnie Capaldi on November 2, 2014 at 16:44

Thats an interesting point! - Dont have anything currently in the pipeline, hopefully will be able to think something decent up and have time to write it within the next 6 weeks.

Comment by Elliot Black on November 2, 2014 at 17:24

Really well done, builds so well and leaves as lot to the imagination! 

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